My head feels like that right now.

You know.
There is only so much I can go.
No matter how much I force myself to learn and try and try, my brain just isn't cut out for anything analytical.
I feel so useless.
I can't even get the concepts of physics/circuitry/MATHS for shit.
I just can't remember.

I just don't understand.
What happened to the old me with POWER memory.

I feel so old and shitty now.

Maths may have been all right.
Physics yesterday was horrible.
Circuitry tomorrow, well, I don't want to talk about it.

WHY LORD?!
DID YOU GIVE ME THIS COURSE?!
I can't seem to find the sense of comfort that I want to feel knowing that you chose this for me.

I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL AND DRAW AND DESIGN OR LEARN ALL ABOUT THE MITOCHONDRIA AND NUCLEOLUS AND RIBOSOMES.

I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM THE KIRCHHOFF LAWS AND CAPACITANCE AND NEWTON'S BLOODY LAWS AND SIN TAN COS.








I want to do well.
I need to do well.
But I am not.
And it kills the perfectionist in me.
My dream of the start into poly life has already crashed and burn.

I am trying to like things I hate.
But, I am not trying hard enough.

I just  wasted my first semester away.
Damn.

Help me God.
I can't do this alone.
Especially finding the resistivity/capacitance/inductance of a circuit.











I complain alot.
Especially during exams.

I realized I have the emotionality of a bull elephant is musth.

You have something to study Othniel.
It was given to you.

Where's your GRATITUDE?