RockMyCore

So tell me,what would you do when there is nothing else you could do?
And nothing else to say, when all you can say is just those same old angry lines over and over again.

I keep wondering,if everything that happens, is God's wonderful purpose and blessings,then I don't want anymore blessings or wonderful purposes because it's just driving me crazy and I'm losing my mind.

I will stick to my promises.
No relationships of any kind.
From the eternal ones to the "I don't really give a bloody shit" kind.
It sucks doesn't it.
But trust me it's better off.

Okay enough of all this mushy emotional shit.
Some people say my blog is rather boring and too intellectual.
Cause I am extremely critical and very opinionated,and extremely harsh went it comes to my comments,so I rather not blog about what I think as to not offend certain people who seriously cannot take criticism or who are super patriotic or just plain stupid.
I can be very harsh,and yes I am most of the time.
It's a bad thing.
Let me rephrase.
I AM A HARSH PERSON.
I didn't use to be.But now I am,so get over it.
I don't really like sugar coating.
Tactful I am,depending on the situation.
Like in cases of work,teachers,and close people.
Other than that,don't expect me to be "oh so filled with joy" when you come to me talking bullshit because I will slap it back in your face.

Back to the me being harsh part.
I was always nice.
Always saying yes.Always trying to help.
Always bloody supportive and lenient.
Until I realized nobody give's shit about you.
And please,CHRISTIANS are most probably in the highest percentage of that lot.
Sad case isn't it.
So there is no use going being nice all the time.
And in this sad world,you are all that you have to survive.
Only you have you to defend yourself.
Because no one will help you forever.
Tell me I am lying then if I'm wrong.
So start being with yourself more.
Stop putting hope in people.People will fail you and leave you in the shit.
Because to them,you got into it yourself.
Kindness is never payed back in kindness mind you.
So get over it.

This week has been quite fruitful.
Getting A for something is so refreshing!
Fruitful in a way, as hard work always pays off.
Staying up DAMN LATE for nights at an end always pays off.
So its two As or an A and a B.
I feel good.

And I decided to make my room look like a nicer place to live in.
Went to Ikea on Tuesdays with Phebe and Darren.


Bought my shelf!
I love Ikea! It's good cause someone like me can afford it!
HAHA! Fugarative.
And they got good furniture also.Hehe.


I have this huge pile of clutter behind my door,full of bags,boxes and shoes.
So,keeping in mind that I need to start growing up in terms of room keeping, something needed to be done.
I love redecorating.
Gets my mind off things.
It's very relaxing in a sense.
Therapeutic,just like fish.

The rain is soo GOOD,
That I'm gonna stay up just to enjoy it!

You know Othniel,
Why don't you just give him one more chance?

To start,I am damn angry.
Very angry,damn frustrated.
Sometimes I just don't know what to do or say,because whatever I do or say isn't going to change a thing.
It's complicated.
It always is.
That's just the way it goes.

I've given up already.
When I look back at how life has been over the past five years,I don't know whether to be overly joyful or jump down twelve floors (figurative speech only).
I know there is nothing I can do now,to alter anything.
But the feeling of helplessness just overwhelms me every time.
I can't help but have that very feeling at every single thing I see or am around with.
The feeling of inadequacy,of uselessness and sadness.
I can't get around the idea too that I never wanted any of this.I can't fathom the fact that all this supposedly was forced unto me for a reason.And it irks me even more that people actually think that all this is are blessings in disguise?!

If that's case I want no more blessings.Cause they are driving me to my doom.

I am so stressed!
Plus it's EXAM TIME!
DAMN!

I've always tried being strong in times of all my countless helplessness.
But I don't know.
Sometimes the feeling just overwhelms you.
Like in times like this,which results in this post.

I wonder how long I can keep up this happy outlook on life when it's crumbling down at every corner.
I have no choice anyways!
HAHA.
That's the helplessness kicking in again!


Lets put negativity aside awhile and talk about something else yeah?
Well,work over the weekend was good.
NDP Rally.


You will never know the kind of people that are there man.
I am speechless!
But it was fun working there!
Even though I was half dead in class on Monday.

Talking about class,I can't go for an IA.
Another angry point.
Why?
Because I am going Hong Kong.
I would rather go for something which gives me money than uses up money!
I know the opportunity and all that bullshit crap is good,but I am NOT financially stable.
So it sucks.
And I am stuck with FYP.
Not that it's bad,but I would rather have an IA.

Well,on the other aspects of life,I've been trying to go healthy..for whatever I try to put in that big mouth of mine.
It's a step in the right direction.
What you are looking at is my breakfast/lunch or probably dinner.
(:


Oh and the water cooler broke in school today.
Like wow.



And I can't wait to get this hay bush on my head!

I have to come to a RUDE realization/awakening.
I need to loose weight.

But with whatever I do,I just can't seem to shed those bloody kilos.
Too much holidaying,too much stress.
My love for anything edible is just getting too far out of hand.

So,it's time for drastic measures.
And drastic change.
Peace.